Wednesday, October 04, 2006

bears, cars, life.

i'm watching the movie "grizzly man" for, like, the tenth time ever. it's a movie about an outsider who made a name for himself in a very uniqe fashion.
i really enjoyed my visual communications class today. the lecture was given by a substitute instructor, a young lady who teaches graphic design. in the recent weeks, i've come to realize that i want to do something more "affective" in the field of communications, rather than allowing so much of my time to be consumed by soul-sucking news. i'm writing for the school newspaper at rio hondo, but not really learning much from the classes i'm taking there that i couldn't have picked up on my own by simply observing newspaper reporting. i'm getting pretty good at playing my acoustic guitar, even composing my own music. i wish i would have been more confident, and felt more supported in learning guitar, as i think that my friends and family weren't exactly interested in hearing what i had to play.
i regret that it took me so long to make sense of the cold, manic world around me after graduating high school. i am now very eager to graduate from college and move on to the adult world where most of my friends, and people my age have already ascended.
i found out just today that i am in the hole 206 dollars to the department of motor vehicles for my delinquent registration fee, which was mailed to two addresses prior to my current one, explaining why i have no sticker on my license plate. they are now threatening to take money out of my paychecks at polly's every month until the balance is settled, which is why i will be waiting in line at the dmv tomorrow. i'm a total criminal.
timothy treadwell, the focus of "grizzly man" was devoured by bears, doing something that he found to be rewarding to him. the movie definitely makes one consider the worth of pursuing something in which one belives entirely. i often wish i had that drive, to do anything.


  1. thoughtful post. sounds like your sorting out what you want to do. appreciate your sharing your thoughts. i am sorry that you don't know my brother. his journey with music has been an interesting one. he once designed a platform with speakers under it so that deaf kids could dance to the music they felt with their feet. his recent interest is celtic music and spent time this summer playing in pubs in Ireland. He is a different person when he is playing music and in many respects it has transported him through many a difficult time. if he comes down this way I will let you know. he is worth meeting and discussing/playing music with. Rollo May believed tha creativity was a balm for our grief and a bridge to an evolved state of grace.
    Good to hear from you and peace out.

  2. I am really sorry you feel this way about your music as I remember asking you to play when I visifed you in Placerville a long time ago! Anyway I really enjoy listening to your playing now. Often the door is closed but I can still hear and enjoy. I'm glad to hear that you are composing some of it as it is beautiful.