Monday, November 14, 2005
Squid and the Whale revisited
Beth and I saw the Squid and the Whale this weekend. It struck a note with me on a personal level. When my parents separated I lived with my dad for a year. This meant moving away from my friends, mom and siblings. My dad wanted have one of his children live with him and as the oldest I was the chosen one. Not much thought about my needs. I thought about my own son's and how much custody "rights" dominated their post-divorce experience. Being early or late, all of a sudden finding out that you couldn't count on a parent wanting to spend time with you unless it was "their time". Odd stuff. I mentioned to Beth that when a child's perception changes from that's my "Dad or Mom" to that's a person who is my dad or mom, that child is exposed to the flaws without an experiential base to place them in context. This can lead to a critical view that can strip even good qualities away. Like your either "good" or "bad". A confusing view to acquire as a child. I am glad it focused more on the children involved than the parents. Most post-divorce movies seem to focus more on a parent finding a partner than on the effect it has on the kids.
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I wanna see this movie. Cindi says she might go with me.
ReplyDeleteI want to see "Pride & Prejudice." Not sure I want to see "Squid and Whale," unless it is the version shown on airplanes. I do appreciate everyone's review of it, however.
ReplyDeletejudging with only the acrued knowledge i have from living with the petersons for four years, i would suggest that cindi would not enjoy this film in the least. that is not to say that she is wrong for not enjoying it, as personally, i did not enjoy the movie "titanic," which went on to take home the best picture oscar award that year. it is a thoughtful movie, with uncommonly realistic characters, that to me, were easy to relate to and to which i found it easy to lend my emotions.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I was not disturbed by the film in the way I expected to be. I had read that is was the filmmakers retelling of his parents' divorce which let me take it in as that...another person's experience which is not mine to do anything with but listen to. It was painful to the extent that I had no postivie feelings about either of the adults. It did bring up feelings about my own experiences which are still very painful and personal. The boys were very realistically portrayed, and, as one reviewer put it, gave the film the aura of being a documentary. I welcome open discussion about the topic of divorce, not becuase I'm an expert, but becuase it has defined a major portion of my adult life. That I have in common with Noah Baumbach, my children, and too many others.
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